Entry #5

                                               540 B.C

   

    I was wandering without a final destination. I had no chosen path. I admit to noticing things I’ve never seen. I saw trees, animals, clouds, rainbows, and flowers. I saw how brightly the stars shone in the black sky, how easily and clear the rivers were and how refreshing it was, how the birds sung at every octave, even ones I have never heard. I put my spirituality away and really admired nature.

    I spend my night in the hut of a ferryman. I dreamt a dream that took me by surprise. Govinda was next to me in a yellow ascetic robe, his face holding a melancholic look. He asks, “Why have you deserted me?” I drew Govinda into me, embracing him into open arm and moved down to taste from his breast. I looked up to no longer see Govinda, but a woman.

   The following day the Ferryman took me across the river. Siddhartha learns the river teaches him lessons no one else could have taught him. I felt lamentable for not having a gift for the kindhearted ferryman but he reassured me I would pay him back one day. Coming into town, I encounter a young woman. I was almost seduced but I stopped myself. I fought the urge and resist.

   Strolling into town, I visited a garden run by the best courtesan, Kamala. She is beautiful and sits in her sedan chair, potent. I was grimy and unshaved. I needed fine oils, a barber, and decent clothing.

   I bathed in a river and later returned to Kamala’s garden. She was honestly amused that I, a Samana, would come to her to be taught the art of how to love. She was a very stubborn woman. It intrigued me more. I bargained with her, a poem for a single kiss. And that she could not refuse!

   She was blown away by my talent. My verses compelled her for only a moment then she was back to her stubborn self, it took barely a minute for her to forget how lovely my words were. She recommended me to a wealthy merchant, Kamaswami. She told me to make sure I was his equal nothing lower or higher. Then once I was like one of her regular men then she would take me in.

-Siddhartha